If we think about the most enjoyable moments in our lives, we would probably agree that someone was with us in those moments. Humans are naturally oriented towards others, which is the reason behind the discomfort of feeling lonely. Loneliness carries a negative stigma that leads to depression, which makes us think that we are not successful nor productive.
Even though researchers suggest that loneliness is a key factor of poor health, people can transform the negative effects of solitude, into an opportunity for personal growth. People must use loneliness as a trampoline to become the best version of themselves.
Developing Self-Love
In the past, I have read so many books about how to love myself and improve my inner voice, but they didn’t seem to help. Those books neglect to point out that it is necessary to be alone, and If we don’t like ourselves, we won’t enjoy our own company.
Being comfortable with solitude is the first step to improving our self-esteem. We should take those moments when we are feeling lonely and start some soul exploration.
We must ask ourselves “what do I love to do?” “Am I passionate about it?” Answers to those question flow easier when you are alone. Discovering what we love leads to positive thinking, which allows to develop a deeper sense of self-love.Another phenomenal way to develop self-love is using positive affirmations.
A recent study from Carnegie Mellon University’s David Creswell found that people can boost their ability to solve problems under pressure by using self-affirmation. If we are feeling lonely, it is a great opportunity to write down a few affirmations and say them loud every time solitude comes around.
Take Care of Relationships while you take time for yourself
Relationships are like gardens with beautiful plants; they will remain looking good if we dedicate some time every day to water them and give them love. The quality of our social interactions, more than the quantity of our interactions, determines loneliness. It is all too familiar to get caught up in the daily routine, after an exhausting workday, we ignore those friendly requests to meet up and socialize.
Next thing we know, Sunday has come and the window to socializing is quickly closing prior to the start of yet another work week routine. Solitude can be tricky and comfy after a while. Making time to nurture relationships is a highly rewarding task. Take advantage of personal time but do not forget about loved ones. Follow through with friends’ requests and stick to it.
What to do next?
It is a wonderful idea enjoying a bit of time by ourselves but then, this bit of time converts to weeks or even months of not spending quality time with the people we love. In other words, the outside world becomes strange to us. It is important to make the effort to get out of our house and meet new people. This probably sounds unreachable, but it is easier than you think. Connect with others does not take much. Be open minded and just go for a walk at the mall.
People feel as lonely as we feel at times, and we all have the same social needs. Don’t be afraid to start talking to that person next to you at Starbucks, it will be motivating and exciting.Loneliness can be very detrimental for anybody but if we give it a twist and see it as a chance to stretch and get out of our comfort zone. The amazing opportunities that arise are what make life meaningful.
References:
- Von Soest, T., Luhmann, M., Hansen, T., & Gerstorf, D. (2018). Development of loneliness in midlife and old age: Its nature and correlates. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
- https://www.cmu.edu/homepage/health/2013/summer/benefits-of-self-affirmation.shtml
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-introverts-corner/201311/when-solitude-becomes-isolation
- https://www.aginglifecarejournal.org/health-effects-of-social-isolation-and-loneliness/